he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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