you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize