Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
