I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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