The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
