I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
