seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
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he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
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I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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