And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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