Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
