I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
FUCK WHALES
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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