i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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