well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
