you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
