All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
