he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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