i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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