Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
