so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
