Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
