I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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