make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
