Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
