you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
