P.S. I can't hear my feet
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
