We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
