forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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