Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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