Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
