we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
