I smell stomach acid.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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