forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
