He asked to "fluff my boner.."
hell yes lets make some ravioli
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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