you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
