They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
