Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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