I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
You did what with his pubic hair?
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