oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
