i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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