I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
