just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
