That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
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But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
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you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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