I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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