I smell stomach acid.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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