Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
