I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Come see our sink grown plant.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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