i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
