3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Couch. On fire.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
