Farmville is her only friend.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize