So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
