I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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