I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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