He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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