Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
