what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
